This battle seems everlasting. When will it be won ? My life is a blurrrrrr , but I still feel everything . I often wonder if one ever really learns to love & accept themselves. Like one hundred percent. But we have let our egos kill our confidence for so long, it seems impossible. So quick to abuse ourselves inside, shoot ourselves down . Believe the worst. Sometimes I wish I supported myself, believed in myself & truly loved myself as much as I say I do and as much as I do with others. But that ego man…that voice, it can be so fucking loud. Someone can be smiling , but you never know how much they’re battling inside. Freeing your mind is not as easy as people say it is, to be real. You gotta dig deep. Real fucking deep to heal entirely. & just when I think I’ve got it, something comes up again and I realize I was tryna convince myself I was something I didn’t believe. I just wanna win this battle. I NEED the victory.
Saying you don’t give a fuck and not caring doesn’t automatically equate to you being healed, shrugging things off, letting shit go but not dealing with them is not healing. It may be a part of it, but healing yourself requires hard work. Very hard , time-consuming work.
You can never be free if you don’t heal.
Pay attention to your pain , to what hurts you and you’ll see what you need to work on internally. Mentalities can be quick-symptom-fixes but just like a western medicine prescription, it may not heal you. Remember that . Thinking different does not equal healing either. We must believe it, truly. And how many of us really do?
How many of us just say we love ourselves or say we’re healed because we feel we should be?How many of us really believe it? You can’t think that kinda stuff. You either believe or you don’t. There’s no in between .
Do you really love yourself? Do you really believe you’re perfect? Do you really believe you’re divine ? Or do we still feel like we aren’t worthy? Like we’re not good enough?
You can’t heal me. You can’t fix my pain. Only I can. Only me. Only I can free myself, heal myself. I’ll never be good enough for you, for anyone. What I need to be, is good enough for me. & that’s where the work begins.
Healing. Freedom. Love.
